Parents Behaving Badly

As the boys get older, both the quality of play and the physicality of play increase. And as that happens, the parents get worse. We are two games into the U13 season and unless the parents get it together, there will be a parent altercation before season's end.

Yesterday's U13 game had some backstory going into it. Both teams are RI-based and compete for players. Two of our Bruno players left Bayside to play for us. The Bayside goalie (more on that) was our back-up goalie least year. Our Bruno team won the State cup last year. So I think some of the parents and players were amped up going into it. And  after a relatively close first half turned into a lopsided affair (for them) in the second half,  the play got a little rough. Some hard challenges, some shoulder-to-shoulder collisions, and a couple of yellow cards. But no one was playing dirty; no one got hurt, and most, if not all, of the kids were real good sports. But the parents -- particularly from the team that was leading 8-2 -- were screaming bloody murder. Both sides were yelling at the ref on almost every call or non-call.

Sigh.

Much has been written about youth sports rage among parents and it's way too easy to be caught up in the emotional wave that washes over a competitive game. But 12 and 13-year-old-kids should be able to look to their parents for an example of sportsmanship and behavior. Too often, it's the other way around. As we left the game, players from both teams mingled with siblings and parents and made their way to their minivans to toss their soccer bags.

"Nice game today, boys," I said to a couple of Bayside players. They politely acknowledged the remark and we moved on.

On a more personal note, it was a tough one for all of our defensemen, including Matty. They were left vulnerable all game from a midfield that couldn't keep up with Bayside's attack. And all of our defenders were burned individually on different plays. It happens. I could see Matty getting frustrated and angry and he never gave up when he was on the field, playing with energy and commitment. But after he came out, he didn't want to go back in at defense. We talked with him after the game and suggested that he talk to his coach about his reluctance to go back in on defense yesterday. No one likes to lose. No one likes to be outplayed. But when you sign up to play for a team, you sign up to play regardless of the score.

On a happier note, Noah's travel team kicked off their season with a convincing 6-0 win. I only saw a quarter of the game, but most impressive to me was the speed and commitment with which Noah played. I think his rec league game from Saturday, in which he was one of the more dominant players did wonders for his confidence.

Let's hope that the reverse isn't true for Matty.

One of the lowlights of the game was when Bayside, already leading 7 or 8-2 at that time was awarded a penalty kick, and their coach instructed their own goalie (who left Bruno to play for Bayside) take the kick. It's an odd, odd decision and they had a lot more talented ball strikers than their goalie to choose from to take the kick. He hit it right at our keeper who made the easy save and then had to sprint back downfield through a maze of 20 players to get back into net. Not the most sportsmanlike move from the Bayside coach.


--michael