Friday, September 26, 2014

Big Fish Small Fish

Matthew and Noah are both talented soccer players.

I need to say that up front because it colors the rest of this post. But I say that, too, to remind me of that. Whenever there’s been an opportunity to make a tournament team or a top travel team, they’ve been given that chance. But playing for those top teams comes with a cost – not a monetary cost, although there’s plenty of that --  but a lost opportunity to be the star of the team – to be the big fish.

On a team full of all-stars – as their respective teams are – neither one of them is a star. Each is a contributor, a role player, a supporting cast member, a small-to-medium size fish in an increasingly big pond.

This was acutely illustrated for both boys last weekend.  First, some backstory. Matty joined his Bruno club in the fall of 2011. He made a team that was scrounging for players. As the team grew – from getting thrashed that first fall, to winning most of their games in the spring – he grew with it. And when tryouts for the fall of 2012 team, we weren’t surprised for him to make the club again.  Fast forward another successful year, one which included a championship season, a State Cup victory, and competition against some of the top teams in the nation at the regionals, and we have tryouts for 2013. This year, the tryouts were so full of talented kids that Bruno formed two teams for his age group and Matthew was invited to be on the A team.  Others from the last two years weren’t.

This weekend Matthew had the chance to play for both teams. For the morning game for the A team – which plays in the highest bracket in New England -- he looked solid, created some scoring chances and contributed indirectly to the team’s 4-2 win. In the afternoon game for the B team, which plays one notch down (but still at a very competitive level), he made a significant impact, setting up two goals and creating many chances. He played with confidence and ease. Small fish/big fish.

Noah, meanwhile, also had two games. In his house/rec league game,  he was probably the strongest player on perhaps either side of the ball. He was determined, aggressive and at times dominant. The next day at his game for the town’s top travel team,  he was less aggressive and at times content to let others on his team do the work. Big fish/small fish.

I’ve been wrestling with what’s better for the boys. It seems like a trade off between developing confidence and developing skill. Most people will say that to get better you have to play against the best.  But that also means you’re playing with the best on your side of the ball, which means you’re playing with a lot of kids who are used to being big fish. And in a pond full of big fish, it can be hard to find room to swim.


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